Taunted, Ostracised, Bullied, Teased.
Nightmare continues day after day
Never ending tears and sobs.
Please make it stop!
Suicidal thoughts,
Remorse, guilt, my sanity taken away.
Mask of courage
Inside, I'm quaking with fear.
Day after day,
When will it stop?
I can't even lift my head
For fear I might see them.
And when i do,
The nightmare begins.
When will it end?
I hope its soon.
There are alot more. Next time, i will start off my post with a poem I have written. Readers, friends, sorry to make u worried. Although i long to slit myself, I just can't, when i think of my parents worried faces. Im sorry, I really am. I dunno since when i have become such a emotional person. But i know, I have changed. I got a 38 for my Geog exam. This is painful, the irony. I studied so hard for it, and not much for my science, in the end, i passed my science, I FAILED my geog. Please, explain this irony to me. My parents saw me doing notes. They told me to stop. Just read the textbook. I did not listen, I did not heed. They told me my revising method is wrong. I did not listen, I did not heed. Why? Now GOD has punish the girl who did not listen to her parents advice. My punishment= i failed my geog. WHY??? I thought it would be good for me. Why did u have to prevent me from proving to my parents tht i could do it? Now, what the heck am i supposed to do? Tell or not tell and let them see my report card when it comes? TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!! They sure say, i told u so. GROUND ME, BAN ME, LECTURE ME, SCOLD, NAG At m.e. I really HATE this life. There are no colours. Everything around scolding, not exceeding my sms every month, nagging and doing piles and piles of theory. SERIOUSLY, why dun u let me just die? Let me end all this suffering!!!! If u know whats good for me, DUN SAY I TOLD U SO. Im so sick and tired of my life and this world. If i exceed, just let me exceed right? Not everybody is like u, u think u and mom nvr exceed, i cannot exceed is it? I have my friends. One day, when i die, i hope u read this part of the post and REGRET that u nvr gave me the freedom to sms as much as i want. I cant call, i dun like to put on a mask and talk cheerfully. I know it must come as a BIG shock to u, my beloved parents. Just understand that we got to live everyday happily. Im not happy everyday. So why bother living? I just found inspiration for another poem.
I welcome the numbness,
As the blade slits my skin.
Drops of blood drip down from my arm.
My emotions, feelings are all in the form of blood.
Images of loved ones flashes into my mind.
I stop slitting half-way. Tears fill my eyes and i try not to sob
As blood drips onto the white shower tiles
What have i done?
My source of comfort, the blade.
I know i can rely on it everytime.
For everytime im angry, i cut.
My life is filled with scars.
Long sleeves hide the scars.
I wish no one knows.
I feel so sorry or myself.
What have i done?
Actually, its a poem adapted from CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE TEENAGER"S TROUBLES. I like it alot. There is alot of meaning to it. I edited some parts. That poem really is emo. Oh well it sums up how i feel when i wanted to cut. WHATEVR.
I hate the world. I gtg, my money is running out!
Bye cruel world, full of bulliers.
Kylie
